Hypoglycemia and chocolate are not friends. There is no specific warning on the packaging, no alarm bells activated with a mouthful, nor radioactive encounter after consumption. They do not meet in a happy place for an ever after, or friendly happy hour. An encounter causes metabolic havoc; an over production of insulin, a sometimes surreptitious or otherwise sudden 1-2-3-combo of shakiness, sleepiness and sweating. Hypoglycemia sufferers know better to stay away from the sirens of sweetness, and lure of the luscious.
Rummaging through the pantry on a cocoa bean, butter or cocoa mass reconnaissance mission is a categorical harbinger of havoc. As the sensor light in the pantry extinguishes, it’s a sign my search time is up. A desperate grab at low grade, sugar filled choc chips exposes my bubbling anxiety and moment of surrender to the greater forces of stress, fatigue, conflict, expectations or change. Packet instructions run through a slow-release cookie calamity or a ‘lose it fast’ ganache.
I opt for the gusto-guaranteed ganache. A highly unstable form of meltdown. Rich, colourful, full volume, Kleenex consuming and generally short lived. It takes no prisoners and generally leaves an aftertaste of shame, remorse or total relief in my direct surrounds and blood sugar. By comparison, the slow-release cookie meltdown requires ingredients of gradual unease, restlessness, distraction, increasingly frequent leaky eyes accompanied by nether lip biting. It’s a tug of war between the rejection of, and capitulation to, mental constructs and authentic emotions genuinely mixed into the misery of meltdown.
Sitting in a cocoa induced coma comes highly recommended – if only temporarily. Providing health benefits such as lower blood pressure, mood improvement and energy. A justification to move out of this coma is complicated. Masticating Mars Bars and chomping down on chocolate squares, allows for gentle reconsideration of the treachery triggers. However, a lofty Lindt monolith clearly indicates the stretched-out sook must cease. Reflection turned rumination rarely provides a platform for post meltdown prizewinning performance.
There are no hard and fast rules for the cocoa climb out. Rich chocolate antioxidants, belly breathing and visualisation of a positive, post meltdown tomorrow, offer solid scaffolding for the arduous ascent. Apologies for meltdown emotions aren’t necessary. Speedy penance for transgressions advisable. Whilst forgiveness for transgressors most successfully transpires intentionally. Subjective, spectator scorecards belong buried or strewn undeserved of scrutiny, as a realignment of personal response, self -talk and stratagem is self – assuredly affirmed. Creativity, time out, friends, fitness, faith, and all importantly the fruit crisper, are signed up for success. The comeback countdown clock is set. A Cadbury catastrophe need not automatically equate to eternal affliction and meltdown malaise. Embrace the cocoa bean, ride the sugar rush and play hard for the positive rebound.
